Chris Rock

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Chris Rock

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

Chris Rock

Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself.

Chris Rock

Show me one guy or woman as funny as Rodney Dangerfield or as good as George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby, or Joan Rivers. There are a lot of good comics out there, no doubt, but as far as the quality of the comics goes, I think what you have is a bunch of situational comics.

Chris Rock

The thing that surprised me the most is just how much money women that weren't rich were paying for their hair. When you're in a beauty parlor in Harlem next to abandoned buildings and somebody's paying five grand for a weave, that's a bit much.

Chris Rock

I think my best work is when I'm kind of in charge.

Chris Rock

I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.

Chris Rock

Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?

Chris Rock

I love being famous. It's almost like being white.

Chris Rock

Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous.

Chris Rock

Hollywood's just not funny.

Chris Rock

Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy.

Chris Rock

You don't pay taxes - they take taxes.

Chris Rock

I was bused to a school in Gerritsen Beach in Brooklyn in 1972. I was one of the first black kids in the history of the school.

Chris Rock