W. C. Fields

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

W. C. Fields

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

W. C. Fields

I like children - fried.

W. C. Fields

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

W. C. Fields

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.

W. C. Fields

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

W. C. Fields

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

W. C. Fields

I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.

W. C. Fields

Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.

W. C. Fields

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.

W. C. Fields

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

W. C. Fields

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

W. C. Fields

Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.

W. C. Fields

I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.

W. C. Fields