Funny

If at first you don’t succeed, blame your parents. Marcelene Cox

I’m an optimist, but an optimist who carries a raincoat. Harold Wilson

Someone told me that when they go to Vermont, they feel like they’re home. I’m that way at Saks. Caroline…

Me carrying a briefcase is like a hotdog wearing earrings. Sparky Anderson

I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I’m watching the highlights. Jay London

I’d never been in play long enough for the flowers to die in the dressing room. Mercedes McCambridge

A vegetarian is a person who won’t eat anything that can have children. David Brenner

I wish I had the nerve not to tip. Paul Lynde

I own and operate a ferocious ego. Bill Moyers

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from. Eddie Izzard