Fred Allen

Graduation

Fred Allen quote : I learned law so …

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition…

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Funny

Fred Allen quote : I have just returned …

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there. Fred…

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Funny

Fred Allen quote : The first time I …

The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion. Fred Allen

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Fear

Fred Allen quote : Some movie stars wear …

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They’re afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs. Fred…

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FamilyFunny

Fred Allen quote : I don’t have to …

I don’t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I’m the sap. Fred Allen

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Failure

Fred Allen quote : Most of us spend …

Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on…

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Funny

Fred Allen quote : I like long walks …

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. Fred Allen

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Funny

Fred Allen quote : The last time I …

The last time I saw him he was walking down lover’s lane holding his own hand. Fred Allen

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Father

Fred Allen quote : My father never raised …

My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense. Fred Allen

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Business

Fred Allen quote : An advertising agency is …

An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission. Fred Allen

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