George Burns

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. George Burns

I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill. George Burns

I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate. George Burns

Look to the future, because that is where you’ll spend the rest of your life. George Burns

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman it…

I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life. George Burns

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. George Burns

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at…

I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere. George Burns

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age. George Burns