George Carlin

Quotes Authors

George Carlin

George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, philosopher, actor,…

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Funny

George Carlin quote : Weather forecast for tonight …

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. George Carlin

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Death

George Carlin quote : Death is caused by …

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. George Carlin

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Death

George Carlin quote : I’m completely in favor …

I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us…

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Good

George Carlin quote : You know the good …

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. George Carlin

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Good

George Carlin quote : Dusting is a good …

Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the…

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Future

George Carlin quote : There’s no present There’s …

There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past. George Carlin

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Freedom

George Carlin quote : Well if crime fighters …

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that…

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Death

George Carlin quote : At a formal dinner …

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. George Carlin

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Family

George Carlin quote : The other night I …

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. George Carlin

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