If God dropped acid, would he see people? Steven Wright
Read More »Steven Wright
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing ‘Happy Birthday.’ Steven Wright
Read More »When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, ‘Did you sleep good?’ I said ‘No, I made a…
Read More »I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me…
Read More »I think God’s going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding. Steven Wright
Read More »I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side. Steven Wright
Read More »Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country. Steven Wright
Read More »A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. Steven Wright
Read More »I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and…
Read More »