If God dropped acid, would he see people? Steven Wright
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I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing ‘Happy Birthday.’ Steven Wright
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Steven Alexander Wright (born December 6, 1955) is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and film producer. He is known…
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When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, ‘Did you sleep good?’ I said ‘No, I made a…
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I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me…
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I think God’s going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding. Steven Wright
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I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side. Steven Wright
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Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country. Steven Wright
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A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. Steven Wright
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I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and…
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