Woody Allen

Marriage is the death of hope. Woody Allen

Basically my wife was immature. I’d be at home in the bath and she’d come in and sink my boats.…

If my films make one more person miserable, I’ll feel I have done my job. Woody Allen

I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys. Woody Allen

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy. Woody Allen

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones…

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. Woody Allen

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good. Woody Allen

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead. Woody Allen

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down .…