Woody Allen

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good. Woody Allen

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead. Woody Allen

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down .…

Basically my wife was immature. I’d be at home in the bath and she’d come in and sink my boats.…

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle! Woody Allen

Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television. Woody Allen

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? Woody Allen

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it’s the government. Woody Allen

I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own. Woody Allen

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones…